I am Not Your Maid!

You have this girlfriend you love to be your Chief Bridesmaid, right? Nevertheless, she has tied the knot with the love of her life. The question is can she still be your Maid of Honour? You have thought about the issue over and over. Having someone else fill that prestigious role on your wedding day is a nix! You have been friends for xx number of years. Is it a crime for your best friend to be married? Sure, it is not. So what do you do?

It is traditional to have the chief bridesmaid unmarried. Your married girlfriend can still be, so far she isn't pregnant yet, because you do not want to stress your friend and her yet to-be -born baby. However, she would be referred to as your Matron of Honour. A Matron of Honour takes on the same responsibilities as the Maid of Honour; the only difference is that she is married. In fact, I am of the opinion that she would carry out her responsibilities to the letter much more than her unmarried counterpart. Why is that? She has been a bride before. She knows exactly what a bride requires of her maid, in this case her matron. Relatively, you do not have to tell her many things. She can see ahead and picture what needs to be done. Having a matron instead of a maid is a big relief.

As the case may be, you can choose to have a Maid of Honour and a Matron of Honour in a wedding. They both have the same duty; to help the bride enjoy her day. It’s helpful though, if the two ladies are acquainted before the day and perfect if the three of you have been friends before. Just that the Matron of Honour got married before you two. Let’s go over the duty checklist for the Maid of Honour and/or the Matron of Honour.

• Hosts the bridal shower
• Informs guests where the couple is registered
• Keeps track of gifts during the bridal shower
• Coordinates the bridesmaids
• Assists the bride in shopping for her wedding dress and accessories
• Shops for the bridesmaids’ dresses and accessories
• Helps the bride to get dressed 
• Ensures the bride eats breakfast
• Carries an emergency kit
• Adjusts the bride's veil and train before she walks down the aisle
• Carries the groom’s ring till the exchange of rings
• Witnesses the signing of marriage register
• Holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
• Gathers the single women for bouquet toss
• Assists the bride with going away clothes and luggage
• Sees that the bride’s gown is taken care of after the reception according to her wishes 
• Buys the couple a wedding gift
• Helps shop for wedding guest favours
• Gives a Matron/Maid of Honour speech and toast (if allowed)

Dear Bride, you are at liberty to include your Mrs in your wedding party. The bottom line is enjoying a stress free wedding day. Cheers!