Dealing With Conflicts during Wedding Planning

Due to the stress of planning itself, you do not want to engage in disagreements or disputes. The last thing you want to deal with is resolving family disputes. It’s the last thing on your mind. However, since weddings are major life events where all sorts of people within and outside the family converge to celebrate the fusion (I love to call it that) of two families, conflicts are inevitable.

So many little things can cause big disagreements if you do not take conscious efforts to work at resolving them. Here are a few of the ways you can resolve wedding conflicts. Happy planning!

• Determine what is going on to be negotiable upfront – A wedding is a reflection of the couple’s personality. We truly know the wedding is not all about them alone. Other people are involved even if they are not contributing financially to the wedding. As Father-of-the-groom, it is your wedding too! However, there are issues in which the family or friends should not poke nose into. How much the bride spends on wedding make up is nobody’s business. If the couple decides they are riding on horseback to the reception instead of a limo, it is their business.
• Take responsibility – Unless you allow a person, no one can make you feel somehow. Whatever anyone says, do not take everything to heart. Don’t hold on to words too tightly, because in many instances, the person who made a statement may never remember he did so. In another sense, learn to ignore people’s comments.
• Carry each other along – this is especially to the bride. Since the bride is encumbered with the planning, she may neglect her FH and stop showing affection like she used to. Consequently, the man tends to be withdrawn and secretly resent the wedding. Get your man involved by delegating. Decisions such as choosing the wedding band, transportation and accommodation arrangements can be left to him. Why not invite him to join when you go shopping for the wedding favours?
• Do not respond immediately – You know the way words are. Once you say something, just like a broken raw egg, you cannot take it back. This may not be easy, but keep your cool. Sometimes, people just need to be heard; you necessarily do not have to respond. Process in your mind what the person is trying to imply. Maybe, she didn’t really mean your hair is awful. She could actually be communicating how awful her hair is that she is not self-confident enough to stand a gorgeous bride like you. *winks*
• Compromise – explain your standpoint so it would be easier for the other person to reason along with you. If you and your FH get into an argument over the style of the ceremony, make your points clear. If it is something that has no major effect on you, shift grounds. Always arrive at a win-win solution.
• Pick your battles – there are instances where you do not have to argue. This isn't about compromise but choosing what to fuss about. Why bother over something that does not affect you in anyway. For instance, your grandmother's dress should not turn into a big fight. It just doesn’t make sense. Do not think everything means something.
• Develop a bad memory – Conflicts don’t just vanish after the merry-making. If you are an individual capable of retrospection, you are likely to sit down after the hurly-burly and replay clips in your mind. There and then you remember a nasty comment your cousin made about your dress. Several things would be said at the wedding but it is left for you to choose to remember the good, happy and positive things. Do not listen to everything you are told.

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