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especially from people, who in your own standards, don’t qualify to give advice or make comments. Due to the stress of wedding planning or the fact that the comments or questions catch you unawares, you may be lost for words. How do you answer such person who is literally poke nosing, instead of actually offering to help? I have listed eight comments from wedding guests, especially, on the wedding day. If you are planning your wedding or are married and have heard any of such comments or questions, feel free to include them in the list by posting in the ‘have your say’ section of this post. Happy planning!
- MONEY TALKS – The question or comment can take several forms like these. ‘This must have cost you a fortune.’ Maybe the person is surprised by all the beautiful details of your wedding or she thinks you are too poor to afford such a glamorous wedding without running into debt. ‘How much did that cost?’ This question may come from a bride-to-be out of genuine intentions to know the price of an item or from a guest who wants to know how cheap your wedding is. ‘Who is paying for all these?’ this may come from a jealous married guest who couldn’t afford so much for her wedding or someone wondering how your parents were able to spend so much on your wedding. If you want to share information (and feel like a celebrity) about how much your dress costs, who is paying for the wedding expenses or any other money-related question, feel free to do so. However, if you don’t want to, simply let the questioner know it’s none of their business or that the wedding budget is between you and your partner; not for public debate
- BABY BOOM – ‘So baby comes next?’ ‘So when are you going to start having kids?’ If a guest asks me this seemingly rhetorical question, I am going to spit in his face. Okay! That sounds aggressive, right? Seriously, who says child birth comes after wedding? It is a nice thing to enjoy each other for a little while before she starts popping out babies like a baby factory. Can’t a couple decide not to have kids at all? That doesn’t sound African, right? Guests, couples have life schedules and goals; what is next in their schedule is none of your business. Such question comes out of curiosity to know the next big thing in your life after the big milestone – the wedding. Inform the person, as nicely as possible, that you have definitely planned to have kids. However, you are taking one step at a time or you have decided to take baby steps.
- DIRTY LAUNDRY – ‘I can’t believe you are settling down…’ That comment will be from an old friend or relative. Guest, believe it or not your friend is settling down and moving on to the next phase of their lives. Sure, you know all about the groom’s sexcapades right from secondary school or the very many older men the bride had dated while in the university, it is your moral obligation to keep mum. As an older relative, it is not in your position to inform others how you changed diapers for either of the couple. That kid is grown now! What you remember about the wedding couple, either good or bad is insignificant, okay? The wedding is not the best time to air out their dirty laundry. The couple can simply let the comment go or remind the person that was in the past; they should just concentrate on celebrating this new huge milestone in your life.
- GUEST LIST – ‘Why isn’t X and Y invited?’‘You should not have invited A and B’. Compiling a guest list is not an easy task. And a guest who was lucky to be invited shouldn’t query you on who didn’t make the list. Many times when you didn’t see someone you expected at a wedding, they had probably informed the couple they wouldn’t be able to make it; or maybe they never informed them. It can also be that the couple didn’t see the need to invite them at all. Whatever the case, the wedding is not the time to query the couple, please. Who gets invited is their business not yours.
- GO-TO PERSON – ‘Can you please help me with…?’ ‘How can I…’Who says the couple should be your point person for all questions? Can’t you see the couple needs to concentrate on enjoying their day? If you notice a particular section of the hall is not being served, don’t take it to the couple. The wedding party ain’t there for show off. The siblings and close family should be contacted for anything. Even if it’s an emergency, don’t bother them with anything.
- MARRIAGE PESSIMISM – ‘The marriage won’t last’. That’s a sharp one, don’t you think so? ‘Are you sure you are ready?’This can come from an unmarried friend who is afraid of commitment. ‘Your engagement is too short’. Maybe the person thinks you would not have enough time to plan your wedding or you said ‘yes’ too soon. ‘When you think about the rate of divorce in our society today …’ This comment can be a reflection of the person’s marriage issues, past incidents, polygamy, infidelity or sheer pessimism about good things. Guest, this is not a time to share the info just issued by the National Bureau of Statistics. Focus on the positive. Be confident in your response, Couple. Tell the guest you are convinced you want to do this; you love each other very much. And you won’t turn out like them.
- WEDDING NIGHT – ‘Tonight is going to be…’ what will happen between the couple after the event is not yours to speculate. Focus on what’s happening at the moment – the delicious meal, the beauty cake, the happy live band etc.
- PARTY FREAK – ‘Am I going to be invited?’ This doesn’t need a soothsayer to decipher. This person wants to attend your wedding. Most likely, with or without a formal invitation, he will show up. If such person is however someone you don’t intend to include in the guest list, take the high road. Tell him you have not finalised on the date. What if a date has been chosen and he wants an invitation? What do you think?
- photo credit: www.123rf.com
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