12 Ways to Ruin your Wedding

A Frustrated Bride

Yeah! You’d love to ruin your own wedding, won’t you? Really, if you are not careful, there are certain things you can do that would be a sure way to ruin your wedding, by your own self. Every sane person wants their big day to run like clockwork; a perfect day. Take a look at these twelve ‘creative’ ways and add to the list by posting in the comments section of the page.

• DON’T STICK TO SCHEDULE – whether you are using a wedding planner or you are a DIY bride, schedules, timelines, organizers, worksheets are important. Order your dress and accessories at the right time, book vendors on time. You can never start planning too early. Do not procrastinate. That’s a sure way to ruin things.
• GO OVERBOARD ON YOUR BUDGET – you assigned 10% of the total budget to bridal attire, not bad. While checking out stores, you decided to spend 20% instead with no backup plan. Good of you, of course, it’s your money! When it comes to money matters, be disciplined. You can leave money issues to your spouse to handle. Before budgeting at all, make a list of the items you cannot do without. For instance, a bride-to-be told me she would splurge on the dress, accessories and finery; the guests can go hungry if they want to, she doesn’t care one bit. In as much as I don’t encourage starving wedding guests, it’s important to know the things about your wedding you cannot do without. As such, you are able to balance things out. Another disaster waiting is when you have no budget at all!
• USING FRIENDS AND FAMILY AS VENDORS – before someone could say he/she is a wedding vendor, be it a photographer, makeup artist, baker, hairstylist, or what have you, she has an experience, no matter how little. Nevertheless, when you use your old classmate as the wedding photographer, you are on your way to ruining your event. When was the last time your Aunt Sally baked a huge wedding cake? In the event something goes wrong, you may not be able to speak up. After all, you didn’t consult with professionals in the field. How would you rant over church pews that were not duly decorated by your childhood friend, Becky? Did you even pay for the service rendered? I am not suggesting that friends and families cannot be involved in your wedding, consider using them as backup plan in case the professional messes up.
• DIY – I am not disputing the fact that you can bake or do makeup. I can too! The point is Do-It-Yourself brides tend to have so much in their hands they can’t possibly focus on one single thing. Even if you are a professional wedding florist cum decorator, don’t try to do your wedding. It would be so much fun seeing the bride climbing a scaffold to hang the drapes at the church on the wedding morning, just because that’s what she does for a living. Being just a bride is much work, how much more being a wedding vendor rendering a service you can contract out? I have seen a bride who baked and decorated her wedding cake single-handedly. She didn’t enjoy the day because she was too worked up.
• BEING A BRIDEZILLA – the first time I read about that word, I couldn’t help but laugh. Let me ignore the details here. However, a Bridezilla is an unpleasant perfectionist, difficult bride who would not compromise. As a bride, the wedding is not all about you. Did I just burst your bubble? Your parents, your parents-in-law, your husband and even siblings are all involved in making your big day a reality. The Wedding vendors you have hired are not excluded. Learn to shift grounds and compromise on some things. For instance, if your parents want five hundred guests at your wedding and you want two hundred, are you really affected. As long as they are making provisions for those people, no qualms. Focus on the very important issues. Though, there are some businesses of yours they shouldn’t meddle in. Example? What’s the Mother of the Groom’s biz with your choice of wedding shoes? Oh please!
• LOSING FOCUS – always remind yourself that getting married, tying the knot occurs at the ceremony, not the reception. The reception is where you entertain and honour guests present at the ceremony. Therefore, let your focus be on the ceremony itself. It is called a holy solemnization, not a holy feeding of multitudes or a sacred gathering of hungry people. Have attendees at your ceremony treated well like kings and queens, because that’s who they are. In a nutshell, place a higher value on the ceremony, the congregation at the church or wherever. They are the guests not the crashers at the reception.
• PLAYING MUSIC FROM YOUR LAPTOP – have you lost your mind? You are really not the dancing or music type? So what! You have put your younger brother or cousin in charge to be the DJ for the day, playing songs from a laptop or iPod. Hire a professional to handle your music for the day. I am sure your guests want to dance. Do not use equipment you cannot predict on such a BIG DAY! It’s simply silly.
• TRYING OUT YOUR SHOES ON THE DAY – since when did you start planning for just this one day? For your entire life, I assume. Trying your shoes for the first time is a disaster. Funny enough, you chose a stiletto heel to accompany your gown. After you have chosen the gown you want and going for your first fitting, take along your shoes. If you have a hair style in mind, try it once before the day. Even if you are planning to have a flat slippers or sandals in your emergency kit, wear your wedding shoes around the house for a couple of hours frequently before the day. Be familiar with other accessories too.
• NOT HAVING ‘THE DAY OF ITINERARY’ – it’s a good thing you are using a wedding coordinator. Ask her for a ‘day of itinerary’. When you wake up on your wedding day, there should be a checklist of things you need to do. Don’t just wake up anyhow. Have a time you wake up, a time you have your bath, exercise, have breakfast and so on. I put it to you that, she, who fails to plan, plan to fail.
• STRESSING YOURSELF – the days preceding the wedding day will be full of activities. Shopping to do, checking up with vendors, making your hair; you possibly have a full time job. Each day is bubbling with its own activities. If you are not careful, you would breakdown, either on the wedding morning, or subsequent days after. Relax! That’s the word. Your day ought to be enjoyed. Get enough rest and DO NOT skip breakfast. I repeat, DO NOT skip breakfast. It is the most important meal of a day. Assign point persons to important tasks. Don’t get your hands full. After the ceremony, you can relax in a solitary room with your spouse before heading for the reception. Make sure you enjoy your day. Have fun. Laugh a lot!
• NOT USING A WEDDING PLANNER – though, it is not compulsory, it is an idea you have to give a thought to. What a wedding coordinator does for you cannot be over-emphasized, my dear Bride. In short, a planner takes the stress off you and voluntarily puts it on her head. She heads the team of other wedding vendors and saves you lots of research time. I know you are thinking hiring a wedding planner is expensive. Have you consulted any lately? Parting with a few bucks is worth the whole day you have to enjoy.
• NOT USING A WEDDING REGISTRY – I have not really heard much being said about this around here. A wedding registry is a way you register for the items you would need in your new home. When you register, you may inform your wedding guests about where you are registered and meaningful gifts are given to you on the occasion of your wedding. By using a registry, there won’t be duplication of gifts; you won’t end up with three food processors from different guests or an old-fashioned dinnerware you may never use. However, I do not subscribe to soliciting for gifts or registering quite expensive gifts. Informing potential wedding guests may be difficult around here; you don’t want to give the guests the impression the gift is more important than their presence at the wedding. You can inform very close friends and family about where you are registered. I don’t advice you put the website on your IV!

Are you newly-wed? Share your experience and thoughts with others. 

photo credit: fcignc.com